Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

As a sex and relationship therapist, I have specialised training in understanding sexuality, pleasure, sexual function, and the mental and emotional aspects of intimate relationships. I use talk therapy and help you find interventions that may suit your needs. Together we look at potential physical, psychological, emotional and social factors to address challenges you have with your body, mind or relationships. This can help you grow and maintain a deeper connection with yourself and partner(s).

My approach to our relationship is collaborative. As much as you bring to our sessions, I will give back.

I will never touch you physically or ask you to show me intimate areas of your body. There is nothing wrong with being a sex worker, but I am not one.

To learn more about the topics I work with, see my Specialities page.

Clinical sexology is a term used to describe psychosexual and relationship therapy. Sex therapy is a shortened and easier version of psychosexual therapy.

A sexologist or psychosexual therapist is essentially someone who has done advanced studies in human sexuality, behaviours, interests and functions, and helps people understand themselves better through looking at the various elements of someone's life and how this has impacted their relationships with themselves and others.

I approach my clients “pluralistically”, which means that I work collaboratively with you on the methods and interventions that might suit your specific experience and issues. I am humanistic and relational, and draw from various models and tools to see what might fit. I don’t judge and I will always be curious.

I also think it is essential to work with an intersectional lens, especially within the LGBTQIA+ communities, and will always be open to differences in lived experience.

I believe a responsive, holistic and evolving approach is essential. We will look at you as the complex being you are approaching the different factors in your life that affect you physically, socially, emotionally and psychologically.

Talking about sex and relationships can be difficult -a lot can come up - and I aim to make you as comfortable as possible, while also gently challenging some of the patterns you may be stuck in.

Some of the approaches I use are blended with:

• Compassion-Focused Therapy

• Person-Centred Therapy

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

• Attachment

• Transactional analysis

• Somatic Therapy

• Mindfulness

And more…

Queer is an umbrella term that describes anyone who does not identify with being heterosexual and/or cisgender. I use it on this site as an equivalent to LGBTQIA+.

I recognise that not everyone prefers or uses this term. While in the past it has been used as a pejorative - Many communities are reclaiming it, preferring it to other catchall terms, and it is how I prefer to describe my own identity.

I am happy to use whatever terminology you prefer for you in our sessions - the beauty is that we can all self-identify with whatever terms resonate with us.

I work with LGBTQIA+ people on many issues relating to sex and relationships - individually or with partners. See my Specialities page for a range of topics. If there is something you want to work on that is not listed or described, get in touch and we can chat about it.

That depends. Most clients end up doing longer term therapy as we work through various issues. It is likely we will find there are other things along the way you want to focus on. We can chat about your ongoing needs in session and see how you feel. I tend to do regular reviews with my clients every 12 weeks. Ultimately, it is your decision and we can work with your needs.

And when you feel you have gotten everything you need from our sessions, for the moment - we can talk about ending. I tend to ask for 4 weeks notice to end.

I do not at this time, however, offer one-session focused therapy (where we plan for you to come in for one-session to work through an issue in that time)

While it is important to understand some background and the early context of your life, including your childhood and the relationships you grew up with, this is usually only a small part of the work. It always depends on how much you want to tell me, but I tend to focus on the current situations and what is coming up in the moment - which can relate to your childhood, but that is not all we will explore as there are usually more factors at play.

Acknowledging difference is important.

While I cannot claim to know everything about every person’s identity and experience, I can promise that if we work together I will not burden you with the emotional labour of teaching me the basics about your background.

I am here to listen to your issues and help you work through them in a way that is accessible and works for you. If there are any essentials you might need, let’s discuss them and I will do my best to accommodate.

I will never centre your characteristics or pathologise them. I will follow your lead in what you want to talk about and how that relates to your experience.

I understand the systems of oppression we live in and the effect this has on people in general, but I will not make assumptions or judgments about you based on your characteristics, and am committed to continued learning and doing activism against oppression and racism.

Regarding being BIPOC
Being white, I could never claim to understand anyone’s experience of being Black, Indigenous or a Person of Colour. I do, however, know there are many harmful stereotypes and narratives Black, Indigenous and People of Colour experience, especially around sex and relationships. If we work together, I will listen and centre you and your needs in our sessions. I will not expect you to teach me and will support you through your journey in self-exploration. I will not shy away from talking about racism and oppression with you, if that is part of the discussion.

I do understand how difficult it can be to find a therapist with the same skin colour or ethnic background and I would be happy to help send you resources around finding someone if needed.

Regarding disability
If you have a disability or a medical condition I am unfamiliar with, I will be honest with you about it, but I will also do my own research and not expect you to teach me. If there is any way I can accommodate you, I would be happy to discuss and do my best.

And if YOU think your disability or medical condition is relevant, we can talk about how this impacts your sex and relationships.

Regarding neurodivergence:
If you tell me you are neurodivergent, we might explore what that means for you and how it might show up in your life, sex and relationships, if that is something you want to investigate. I am also happy to make any reasonable adjustments to our sessions where needed.

If there is something else you think I should add here, get in touch.

GSRD stands for Gender, Sexual and Relationship Diversity. This has been a growing term in the healthcare field for a few years now. It is a term used to encompass all gender identities, biological sex diversity, sexual orientations and relationship styles.

While I find this is a helpful terminology for therapists and training institutions, it is not as well known as the terms Queer or LGBTQIA+ or other specific descriptors, so I tend to use it sparingly in everyday situations.

That is totally fine! I am happy to use the terms you are comfortable with or help you find terms that work for you.

I already tend to avoid terms like “female” and “male” and will always take your lead and/or check with you if referring to genitalia what might be appropriate.

I am not going to be the identity police. If you think you might be and you want to explore what that means for you, then I can definitely help you. I do not, however, believe in or practice conversion therapy. I will not convert you to any identity in our work together, and that also goes for relationship style, kink, or sexual desire either.

Totally fine. We can definitely work together. Our work together, however, does not have to be explicitly about queerness, or any issues around that dynamic. I can work with you on any of the other specialities I outline here.

You sure can.

Just to be clear, not all straight people are cisgendered - and there is room in the world for straight and queer identifying people. You are all welcome here.

I also specialise in alternative relationship styles, which often have a mix of sexualities and identities - including heterosexual.

I will never try to convert you to any other identity - you are the expert in that.

I can work with you if you have already sought out support through a specific drug, alcohol and chems service and are in a programme to reduce your use.

I cannot offer keyworking support myself, but once you are in a place where you feel that side of things is under control, sex therapy can be very helpful in understanding and changing sexual behaviour and I would be happy to work with you.

If you are starting your journey to cut down on drugs or alcohol, you can find keyworking support at the links below.

• 56 Dean Street

• MENRU

• Club Drug Clinic

• Antidote - London Friend

• Controlling chemsex